Hungover Reflections

Last night, I got a little tipsy at a Stater social (hookah + alcohol = sleepy time) and am paying for it today. The hangover isn't that bad, just a little headache and apathy I'm having trouble shaking. As a result, I've been laying in my bed(in the same clothes I was wearing last night, of course), from the time I got home this morning [10:56am] until now [1:35pm]. I've had a good 2.5 hours to perform my internet-sketching ritual (i.e. sign on to iGoogle to check today's "Interesting things" and "Beauty Tips", check my gmail, read Facebook and look around for a while, check the latest celebrity gossip at Perezhilton.com, and update myself on domestic and international happenings on cnn.com).

So, i'm still laying on my bed, thinking about life and friends and all of the other philosophical things I think about when I have time to myself. I just spoke with my close friend, Trevor (who's in Italy studying abroad), about how this is going to be our last summer together to really have a blast and enjoy each other's friendship. Our conversation sort of scared me.

Over the past 20 years, I have come in contact with thousands of people, many of whom I called my friends. But when I think about the number of people I have actually remained in contact with, I find the number dismally minuscule. Being honest with myself, I know that i'm not the best at maintaining long-distance friendships (with the exception of a few). But, I feel like life, in general, is set up in a manner that prohibits a good deal of sustained relationships. Realistically, there are very few people who's relationship with you will survive going away to college or graduating from college or moving to a new city to start a career. When I think about the past, I'm generally okay with this conclusion. Many of those friendships have already faded to black or are currently being sustained. But when I think about the present and the future, it frightens me. As I skim through my AIM buddy lists, I find myself wondering "how many of these will fade to black?"

Going back to my conversation with Trevor, I feel like this summer will be bittersweet. I'm excited to spend as much time as I possibly can with my friends (and turn 21! - look out, world!), but at the same time; I feel like it's the beginning of the end for many people. Next fall, each of us will be extremely busy with finalizing graduation plans, applying for graduate or continued education programs, or finding a job. I'm not sure when, but there will come a point when the separation starts.

I heard a saying a few months ago that I think has helped me to understand this concept a little better: "There are friends for a reason; friends for a season; and friends for life." It means that there will always be people coming in and out of your life. Some will stay because they have a reason to (e.g. it's convenient because you work at the same place and they give you a ride every so often). Some will only stay for a season (e.g. you have a class together, or for the duration of high school). And some, the few far and in between, are the ones that will stay for life.

So, I guess the point of all of this rambling is that people (you and me) should take more time to really get to know those who are a part of your life. In the future, I am sure that I will discover things about some friends that will divide us and things about other friends that will only bring us closer. It'll be okay. The inevitable will happen: people will grow apart. But more importantly, your true friends - the ones that are for life, the ones that refuse to fade to black - will emerge in the end and become one of the few foundations of stability in your life. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Point blank: I love my friends and hope they never fade to black.